Struggle

This semester has been extremely difficult. And really stressful. I'm ready for it to be over.

Everything seems to be falling apart and I'm just barely hanging on by a thread. I keep telling myself that as long as I can survive this semester, I'll be ok. Everything will be ok.

I think I'm going to head on over to this website. It always brings me comfort.

Happy Halloween!

Stress and Trek

This past week I had the privilege of going on a pioneer trek with my stake. It was very hard. But I enjoyed it. And Heavenly Father was with me every step (even though every step was painful).

I'm stressed out.
Marching band, AP World History, Honors English, License coming up, Savior to the World (a production that my ward is putting on) Online class, homework and a new job.

AHHHHHHHHHH!

I don't know what to do!!
But, really. It makes me so distressed. I can't wait for next semester. Things will definetley calm down, but for now I feel things slipping through my fingers. And they're slipping fast. I hate this.

But I can rise to the challenge. I can do this.

It's just gonna take a little faith, trust and...

Pixie Dust :)

I Can Do Hard Things

When your heart hurts you think nobody understands.

Why do people have to make decisions that hurt other people?

You think you know someone, but then find out you really don't. And you love this person and know their doing something wrong.

It's not suppose to be this way.

I've prayed for comfort and I feel better, but then I remember why I prayed in the first place, then my heart twists and turns and I want to break into tears.

Pain is a part of life. But so is faith. You have to have faith to endure the pain.

I'm meant to learn a lesson and gain knowledge through this trial. And I can. I just need to have the right perspective.

I find it interesting when people go through hardships and blame Heavenly Father or turn their backs away from Him. They think its His fault. But He loves us enough to let us learn for ourselves. I bet thats hard: Stepping back and watching someone you love make mistakes and learn from them...

Maybe thats what I'm meant to do: Step back and let this person learn, but love them just the same.

This is hard. This is very hard.

But I can do hard things. I know that.

Saving Lives

One thing I'm grateful for is saving lives by donating blood. I donated blood today and it was very interesting. It's such a blessing to have medical knowledge.

When I went to give blood (if you get queasy from needles or blood you might want to stop reading) they tried my left arm first but my blood started to clot, or heal itself. So they stuck my other arm. And slowly but surely I started pumping blood. As I was giving blood I thought of people my blood might be going to...and I was also excited for the snacks afterwords :)

Heavenly Father was definitely with me today.

Brothers and Bands

Can I just say that I love conference weekend? I know it might be weird for a teenager to actually look forward to conference but I really do. I love taking notes and feeling the spirit with my family.

There were some really good talks this morning.

But I missed the second session yesterday because of a marching competition.
We were unusually calm and sluggish warming up and we weren't in the zone.

We get out on field and I'm trying to make sound come out of my clarinet, but it's impossible. When the reed (wooden slab that vibrates to make sound) isn't wet, it wont create a sound. And my reed wasn't wet enough because it was so dry outside. So, all that was coming out of my instrument was squeaking. And our timing was off. It was just chaos.

After we performed, we knew we had done bad and we were gonna get a low score.
As soon as we sat in the bleachers, watching the other bands and waiting for the award ceremony, a huge storm came and the competition was canceled. So, we don't know what placement we got. I'm grateful because we knew we did horrible and we know what he need to fix. And most of it was just bad luck.

As I was watching conference, my older brother, Brad, put his hand on my knee. And for some odd reason, silent tears ran down my face. If there's anyone in this family that I look up to, besides my mom, its Brad. Growing up I wasn't near to him as my older sisters were, but I love him so much.

I'm grateful for his example to me and how great of a brother he is. He's so caring and compassionate. I'm lucky he's my brother :)